Friday, August 14, 2009

Google Your Jealousy, Part 2

I left the last post, not sure if I would post on this topic again. The feelings have not gotten any better, only worse.....and so I blog again.

I think I have accomplished step 1. I understand why I am jealous. As I said before, something that I thought was mine (or partly mine) is being taken away by another. It is not something of monetary value, it is something more precious. I feel as I do because I do not understand the why of it-why has it been slipping away from me. I understand why I am jealous, but not why it is happening. I have tried to look at the situation from all angles. I have tried to understand my part. Then it hit me, I do not have a part of it and that is where the jealousy is stemming from.

Having accomplished step 1, I am forced to go to step 2. I need to create and act on a plan. How can I possibly have a plan if I really do not have a part in this? I am watching a situation in front of my face and there is nothing I can do.

A phrase keeps popping in my head.

"If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, its yours forever. If it doesn't, then it was never meant to be."

This phrase is usually applied to romantic love, but in this situation I think it can also apply. I need to try and let this go and see if it resolves itself. If it comes back to me, then I know it is for me.

I need to have another part to my plan. I will have a problem just letting it go, if I do not do something else. I am going to try and focus on the things and the people I have neglected while I have been worrying about this. There are several people in my life that I want to get to know better and I think I will use part of this time for that. I will also focus on our new home and re-doing my Etsy store. I have a ton of ideas and I need to execute them. I also need to redo my current listings by taking better pictures to showcase the items I am selling.

Lastly, John and I need to take a brief vacation. We need to get away, even if for just a day. He has suggested it and I keep turning it down because we just moved and I want to be at home doing stuff for the house.

Getting away might be the best cure for all of this. Maybe.


Alfonso said...

getting away can definitely help...but we might be able to help if we actually knew what you were talking about. :)

Jim Penny said...

If you're going to explore all this in a public forum, ya gotta be a little more transparent. All you've done so far is intellectualize whatever the problem is in rather generic terms. How about just laying it out there?

VeggieAmanda said...

Alfonso- Thank you for your offer to help. I appreciate it!
Jim- I am too cowardly to let it out there. The problem involves people. I don't want those people to know who they are. If that becomes part of my plan, then I can explain the situation more. Unfortunately, explaining will surely give it away.

Anonymous said...

"A noble person attracts noble people, and knows how to hold on to them."
--Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

VeggieAmanda said...

Anonymous- maybe so, maybe not. Not sure I care about nobility. Looks like you are just as cowardly as I since you posted as anonymous. :)